He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
