Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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