You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
