I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize