I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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