Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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