What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
