She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
