so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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