You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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