just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
