My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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