So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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