You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
