If that was your dad, he is hot
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
