just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
