i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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