How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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