i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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