dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
