I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize