did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
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I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
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he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...