Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong