no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18