her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i need some magic done to my vagina
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.