WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I have post one night stand depression
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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