I wish my penis had an off switch
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
