i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she smelled like a LAN party
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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