Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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