THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
