Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
