Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
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He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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