We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
