If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
