I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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