I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
