get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
