I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
