Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
