Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
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My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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