Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
