CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
