I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
