I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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