She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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