as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
