If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
