He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
