I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
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I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?