Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im having a threesome with these popsicles
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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