me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
