thus making me awesome and them whores
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
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