You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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