Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
