About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Randomize
