I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
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Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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