Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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