You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my shit smells like andre
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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