A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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