Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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