pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
