ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I puked a lego.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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