You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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